To Hannah, Age 4

I love you, you know.

You are my darling girl.

You say you miss your baby years, and sometimes I do, too,

but, for the record, I love you.

 

You are not an “easy” child.

Intelligent, determined, and outspoken,

your big personality sometimes clashes with mine

like fire and water,

with steam, noise, and smothering feelings.

Sometimes we both tire of the discipline,

the time-outs, the talkings to.

But, for the record, I love you.

 

Years from now, I pray that we will know and trust each other

more than we currently do.

God made you in your unique, inquisitive, active way.

I am learning from you how to ask for what I want.

I am learning from you to be friendly and know other people.

I am learning from you to dream big.

I am learning so much from you.

 

I fear that when you are older and, for your good,

I have to guide you in a direction you may not want to go,

you may think that I hate you, or that you hate me.

You may even use that word against me.

But it won’t be true.

 

Because you love me; you just told me so today

as I lay stroking your hair before you fell asleep;

you told me that you love me as much as the whole earth.

And, my Hannah Dear, I love you, too.

 

 

March 30, 2017

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